Southport

There's a model railway you can't see
And the chips are far too greasy for me
You can't even swim in the sea
Southport's the place to be

If you're near Liverpool it's worth a trip
Just a few miles along the coast, if you're up for it
If you don't like the fairground then there's always Matalan
If you're looking for a bargain
And they've even got fancy trams
Southport is the classic seaside town

But if you like your entertainment more old school
Maybe try the teashops or the Bingo Hall
If you're lucky you might win a tenner
Southport doesn't get much better

And if you're looking for novelty, why not try
The Antiques Market or the Bring and Buy
They've got Darth Vader masks
And postcards of the past
Or if you get really stuck
There's a Lawnmower Museum that's hard to find
Whatever you like to do
Southport will keep you busy for an hour or two